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Of Weddings and Funerals
Dissent: Volume 6 of the Helter Skelter Anthology of New Writing

Of Weddings and Funerals

Emerging from a canopy, Catherine Middleton stooped to climb into her waiting Rolls Royce. Showcasing the best kept royal secret, she waved to thousands who had taken to the streets and to two billion T.V. viewers in her white lacy wedding gown. April 29, 2011: The royal wedding of an affable Prince.

April 29, 2011: Under canopied guidance, Barack Obama became privy to the world’s best kept secret and sealed his ticket for a second term as President by signing a white sheet of paper. A day that saw the union of those in love also became a stepping stone for those with love for peace. April 29, 2011: A day engraved in history.

Helter Skelter: Peace
April 29, 2011: A day engraved in history. Photograph by Bitzi.

Thousands were trained to graciously surrender their lives, to their home soil, in the name of duty in the Military Academy of Abbottabad. A cricket pitch away resided the man who stubbornly quashed what the white dove symbolised. Osama Bin Laden gave history its worst massacre in 9/11 and in return earned the wrath of billions across the globe. Constantly on the move, eluding the U.S. Forces, he was always speculated to be hiding in a cave or a rude mountainous region in Afghanistan. Reality sprung a surprise on a billion, much to the dismay of a defensive Pakistani government, when the F.B.I.’s most wanted mass murderer was found to be leading a leisurely life in nothing less than a mansion.

He, who ruthlessly orchestrated an onslaught on innocents and dissed the essence of ‘home’ for many, ‘resided’ in a mansion slated to be worth millions. Through its meticulous operations, the C.I.A. narrowed down on this mansion which boldly stood between 18-foot high walls. In the 21st century, an occupied house sans a phone and internet connection. This deliberate cessation of communication tipped the C.I.A. off in tandem with a spectrum of suspicions. The wee hours of May 1 saw the good triumph over the evil for the nth time. A decade of wild goose chases finally found its much awaited happy ending in a 40-minute encounter. Soon after, President Obama addressed the world media and announced the death of the diabolical.

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Concluding his speech from the East Room of the White House, he headed back with his arms around the ticket to his second term as President. A la the Royal Wedding, cheers and roars resonated in the streets of the U.S. of A. After all, this was no less than a royal occasion.

April 29, 2011: A wedding and a funeral (on paper!).

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